Control Freak.

I knew this day would come. The power of visualization, huh!? I’ve written a newsletter on a Thursday because we were going for a six day vacation on Friday. I knew being on vacation I would have no time, nor was it the place to write a newsletter, road trip was the focus. But here I am tonight the day before my newsletter comes out. It’s 22:00 (10:00 pm) and I am at the track. My pit is all set up for the next day. And I am running on a full charge on my laptop. Thank goodness The Ridge has WiFi. I could fire up the jenny (Generator) to keep my laptop charged, but it’s late. I usually don’t get too much sleep the night before a track day, excited and nervous. After a day of riding, I’m too tired to be excited and nervous for the second and/or third day.

This morning, in apologizing for my GREEDY task-accomplishing behavior from the proceeding day. My wife said, “Your are a control freak!” I thought, what an ugly thing to say about a good feature. But she was right.

I was on a roll, knocking out tasks left and right. I had some impressive momentum. But I was starting to think I could fit 48 hours into 24. I have a way of quietly trying to control things that are out of my hands. This is where the excessive-ness, the freak, comes into play.

My wife and I are opposites. I’m male and she’s’ female, lol. I mean we have opposite personalities on some things. She does without thinking and I’m almost paralyzed by over thinking, before doing.

This deep rooted wrestling with the fabric of life to have things come out my way is why I am a thinker and have tense arms. Instead of going with the flow, being a feeler and having loose arms. Remember Ryan Hughes philosophy on arms in the “What I’m Working On” newsletter?

Why is it so deep rooted in me? Because I’m an only child, no, that sounds like an excuse. I must have been rewarded in the past, by life, for having so much control of something.

If I’m the over-thinker with tense arms and she’s the under-thinker (feeler) with loose arms. Is there such a thing as too much of a feeler? Maybe I have a lot to learn from my wife.